


The Pros and Cons of Sticky Notes

by kris932



Series: Idiot's guide to relationships [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: But he kinda was, Dating is hard, F/M, Fandom Allusions & Cliches & References, Gen, Jane is a good friend, Tony Stark should not be considered a good date, gainfully employed, low standards
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-01-21 02:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1534628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kris932/pseuds/kris932
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which:</p><p>Darcy does a lot of sitting around watching Jane do SCIENCE and gets paid for it. And waiting for her phone to ring. Or something. </p><p>Tony needs to get a clue about women (Pepper's been trying to teach him for years...) (Which is vastly different from just getting in their pants)</p><p>Jane really should not be allowed behind the wheel of any vehicles. (Even if Darcy appreciates the offer)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Check out the first two parts of the series for this to make a little more sense.

Despite numerous fan websites and trashy news rags that liked to post ridiculous (sometimes real, sometimes photo shopped) images of the Avengers doing everyday things like shopping at the local fruit stand (See! Black Widow’s just like us!) or grabbing a late lunch at the diner over on 35th street, life in Stark Tower was rarely ever that laid back. Except when it was. After all, the world wasn’t invaded by alien armies or evil space robots on a weekly basis. 

But on days when they were needed-all hell tended to break loose.

It was to this less than controlled chaos that Darcy woke up to the morning after her dinner with Tony. Chicago was, apparently, having a small issue with genetically altered 10-foot rodents. Or something. It was early, she wasn’t really in the first responders loop, and she might have hit a bottle of Jack Daniels a little harder than was necessary after Tony had kissed her and dropped her off at her door. So, by the time she was up and dressed the Avengers had already left the building. 

They were gone for two days. The incident in Chicago was handled with flair and quickly wrapped up.

One Tony Stark was gone for almost two weeks. The news reported some shit about board meetings, an iffy stock market, and Stark Industries push towards the cell phone market. 

The man had a day job after all. 

And well, so did Darcy. 

Science was a harsh seductive mistress, but at least it kept her and Jane busy. 

And if she ended up checking her phone for texts more often than normal it was really just because transcribing Jane’s notes (a task she had been avoiding for months now) was really fucking boring.  
.  
.  
.  
.

“Did you have fun?” 

“Jane I’ve been next to you all day. You couldn’t tell if I was having fun handing you pop tarts and recording data for you?”

“I meant at dinner.”

“We had dinner together at Thor’s apartment. Always good for a laugh. You were there if I recall correctly. We feasted and drank to our ancestors honor. At least that’s what I think the smashing of cups indicated.” 

“I meant dinner last week…I really should have talked to you sooner.”

“Could you be more specific, I tend to eat dinner every night.” 

“Fine, you don’t want to talk about it. I get it. Maybe later?”  
.  
.  
.  
.  
The oil leak had been fixed. The passenger side no longer flooded every time she tested the air conditioning. The engine turned over with a satisfying rumble every time she turned the key. 

Seemed like a good time as any to move her car over to the employee lot.  
.  
.  
Passive aggressiveness was almost as fun as being sarcastic. You know, at least it would have been if anyone had been in town to even notice.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Jane is glaring at Darcy’s TV screen in a way Thor would find adorable, but Darcy knows better. It’s her ‘This movie has completely trashed SCIENCE in every way possible to make the plot work’ face. That’s a long description to describe a glare but Darcy has seen it on her friend’s face enough to patent it and try and think up an acronym for it. She’s failed so far, but hey, who knows what could happen. 

The point is she’s not really in the mood to listen to a SCIENCE rant. They are fine in the lab and all, but so not her field. She needs a break. So Darcy piles onto the couch next to Jane and pulls a pillow and blanket over her lap. It’s moments like this that she misses New Mexico. Not the heat, lousy restaurants, or alien attack, those she’s happy to do without, but the roof. Things were easier to talk about up there. Or maybe life was just simpler then. Either way…

“I really enjoyed dinner.” She says staring into her lap where she’s fiddling with the lumpy pillow. 

The TV is swiftly muted and Darcy avoids glancing at her friend when she sighs and says ‘Oh Darcy’ all soft and careful like. 

“And you know what is the most annoying thing, Jane? My best date ever had to have happened with Tony Fucking Stark. And like he didn’t even do anything special, my taste in men is just that bad that Stark can walk in, drive me to a pizza joint, have good taste in bands and high tech speakers, drive me home and walk me to my door- which is so not even impressive cus we like live-in the same effin’ building- slip me a little tongue, and end up as my best date ever. It’s sad and pathetic.” 

She slumps further down into the couch and glances over at Jane whose facial expressions of humor and pity seem to be warring with each other on her face. 

“Ok, Darcy. That sounds well…not good. I mean…”

“Gee thanks.” Darcy rolls her eyes as she cuts in on Jane.

Humor seems to be winning on the pint sized scientist’s face and Darcy has to fight down a laugh when…

“Sorry Sorry, I gotta ask though, cus you now have a little personal experience…can the man kiss or what?”

Jane gets a face full of Darcy lumpy pillow and a slightly amused ‘shut the fuck up Jane’ in response. 

“No but really, Darcy. I’m sorry. I take it you haven’t heard from him since?”

“Not even one lousy freakin’ text. To be fair, the whole thing in Chicago probably threw him for a loop. Plus, back to the horrible part where he has managed to rank incredibly high in the ‘best date’ category, he has a company to run. My last boyfriend was a hundred and fifty thousand dollars in debt and going back to school for a third time to ‘find himself.’ That’s after finishing his law degree. Not that I’m saying I’m dating Tony Stark or anything, cus it was one dinner. ONE, Jane. And he might have stole the last piece of bread, so he’s in the jerk category now, well, he never really left but you get what I mean. ”

Jane looks like she wants to break into another lecture (Thankfully not about SCIENCE) but unfortunately Jane’s lectures on relationships are really unrealistic. Like her dating history is just as horrible as Darcy’s is until Thor came falling out of the sky.

“Well if you do decide to speak to him again or he might even approach you, stranger things have happened…”

“What!? Really Jane?”

“You could make a pro and con list to help you decide. I’ll lend you some color coded sticky notes.”

“Why do I even talk to you?” 

“Or if we’ve decided to hate him I can accidentally run over him with my van.” 

“Urgh JANE!”


	2. Chapter 2

“Jarvis, I’m starting to feel a little offended here.” Tony stated to his AI the second night back in New York as he scrolled the tablet in front of him.

“I can’t begin to imagine why sir.” Came the droll answer.

“Seriously, J?”

The AI responded with what Tony could only call an unimpressed and scornful silence. 

“Thought you had my back in these sorts of situations?” Tony asked after a beat. His voice a touch more serious than normal as he questioned JARVIS.

“To be honest sir, I’m not sure what sort of situation this is precisely. Perhaps you would like to expand upon your statement?” 

“You know stuff with women. You and Pepper always had my back on this shit.” The tablet wasn’t cutting it as a big enough distraction and the backlit bar across the room was begging for his presence. “Well, ok, not Pepper per say, more like Happy. Because Pepper is a girl…woman. A scary one that didn’t always agree with my lifestyle. But still. ” 

“Didn’t agree would be putting it mildly, sir.” 

Tony ignored JARVIS’s comment just like he used to ignore Pepper’s sensible wrangling. 

“As I was saying, Jarvis your input here would be appreciated, anytime now.” 

“Well based on an algorithm formulated from pop culture, Pepper’s exasperated comments, and the two slightly healthy romantic relationships that I have been able to monitor in the building, I have calculated a result that may aid you.” 

“You’ve only monitored two healthy romantic relationships?” 

“Slightly healthy, sir.” 

“That’s the best you can do?”

“Might I point out sir, that Maxim and Playboy models are admired for their more physical assets…not their relationship skills. Case in point sir, they never kept your attention for any great length of time.”

Tony rolled his eyes and stretched out further on the couch with a long suffering sigh. 

“So who are these ‘slightly healthy’ couples you’re using to run your equations.” 

“Thor and Jane. Clinton and Natasha. Who else would I use but people you consider your peers?” 

Tony winced and pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to stave off what he was sure was going to be a killer migraine, but managed to let out a frustrated laugh anyway. His other hand waved lazily in the air as a signal for Jarvis to continue with his explanation and answer.

“So in conclusion, sir, I believe after all this is said and done your best bet would be to apologize to Ms. Darcy Lewis.”

“I didn’t actually do anything wrong though.” Tony pointed out.

“Sir, that may be true, but you didn’t actually do anything right, either.” 

“I’m starting to think Dum-e could give better advice than you.” 

“I could contact Ms. Potts for you.” came the smug sounding response.

“Oh no…no no no no… there is dark road we shall not travel down again Jarvis. Pepper wouldn’t take my calls for a week the last time I discussed women with her.”

“I remember clearly, sir.”

It was times like this Tony wished his AI had a body so he could properly glare at him. His best scowl directed at thin air had to be less effect than it would in person.   
.  
.  
.  
.  
She ignored the brief texts he sent.

She ignored the longer rambling ones.

When he moved her car back to his private work garage she sent Clint to have a friendly ‘discussion’ about ‘private property’ with him. He was just glad that Natasha was out of the country at the time. Thor too, now that he really thought about it more. Clint left the room laughing his ass off.   
.  
.  
.  
.  
But now that he was faced with all 5’2 feet of pissed off astrophysicist in her lab (never give the enemy the home advantage, rookie mistake Tony, his mind helpfully supplied) he half wished he was facing down her ‘godly’ other half. 

“Can I help you, Mr. Stark?” slam went the heavy data note book on the desk inches from where his fingers had been tapping out a beat he refused to classify as nervous. 

“I’m looking for your assistant.” 

“Jonathan’s right behind you monitoring scope number five.”

“It’s James Dr. Foster.”

“Right James, whatever.”

“Ah, no. I meant your attractive assistant.” 

She blinked at Jonathan/James, shrugged and then turned back to Tony.

“I wouldn’t really describe Thor as my assistant, he mostly breaks my equipment when he’s in here.” she pushed passed him to grab a dingy black notebook from another over piled desk. Somehow her tiny pointed elbow managed to make it to his ribs as she went past. 

“um, right. Not Thor. He’s really not my type… at all. Just…no.”

“Hmm, can’t help you Mr. Stark.”

“Dr. Foster, just tell me where Darcy Lewis is.”

“It’s her day off, exploring the city I expect.”  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Darcy exited the elevator to her apartment humming off tune to her iPod and to the sight of Stark Industries head of R&D stretched out on the floor writing equations with a sharpie on the carpet in front of her door.

“I want to talk to you, but I really have to get this equation down before I forget.” 

“Where’s your starkpad?”

“In my lab, I was gonna go get it, but I didn’t know what time you were getting home and I didn’t want to miss you. Quiet.”

She rolled her eyes but after dealing with Jane Foster on a daily basis she didn’t seem fazed by his actions.   
.  
.  
.  
“Sir.”

“Yes Jarvis.”

“I would not, under any circumstances knock on Ms. Lewis’s door right now.”

“Why?”

“It’s three in the morning sir, and Ms. Lewis is even less of a morning person than you are.”

“Ah. I fucked that up didn’t I?”

“Indeed, should I put in an order for new carpet?”

“Something softer than this shit that’s down now. My knees hurt. Not another word J, not one.”

“I think it would be best for you also to retire for the ‘evening’, sir.” 

“Yeah.”


	3. Chapter 3

Jane had spent all morning consumed with SCIENCE and Darcy had her morning just as consumed by SCIENCE paperwork, which was much less exciting than the actual SCIENCE and almost as hard to understand. This meant though that by lunch time Darcy was in desperate need of a break and some food, Jane of course didn’t seem to see the need for either one of those things. So Darcy vowed to the uninterested science drones that she would return with food or at the very least pop tarts and headed back to her apartment to whip up lunch for herself. 

After some reheated Chinese takeout and a good hour and a half stalking the outer reaches of Tumblr for crazy theories on the Avengers she was feeling much more human. 

“JARVIS?”

“Yes Miss Lewis?” 

“You given Tony the notes he wrote on the carpet last night yet?”

“Sir is still in bed.”

“So that’s a ‘no’ then.” she exited out of her Facebook page and closed her laptop. “Think you could hold off on giving him the data if he wakes up and asks?” 

“Certainly.” 

“Thanks, J-man.”

“You are most welcome.”

“Oh and do ya think we can get some food sent up from the canteen for Jane and her minions?”  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Her dad had built her a rather extensive tool kit when she had moved away to Culver for college. It had served her well over the years between keeping her ancient car running and aiding Jane’s homemade lab equipment in New Mexico. So when she decided the only course of action was to rip up the carpet in the hall she had just the utility knives and pliers needed for the job. Plus, it kept Natasha from being pissed about Darcy using the Russian’s Secret Ninja Assassin ™ knife kits hidden around the Tower for odd jobs that needed a sharp blade. She had dulled one of Natasha’s knives trying to get a cork out of a wine bottle late one night and she feared for her life if Natasha ever found out about her doing something that idiotic again. It also helped the more Darcy thought about it, that she really didn’t know who those knives had been in. Gross. Second-hand assassination germs. Ew.   
.  
.  
.  
It was late afternoon by the time Tony got his ass up out of bed. He often wondered what it must be like to have to follow a set work schedule with strict time limits and the pressing need to wake up at a reasonable time, but then remembered that that lifestyle sounded horrible and quickly pushed those thoughts from his brain. There were some fates just not worth contemplating. Being a worker drone with a nine to five desk job was one of them. He managed to mumble a good afternoon to Jarvis and splash his face with cold water from his sink for several long seconds before he felt human enough to go find food and head back down to the lab.   
.  
.  
.  
.  
“Yogurt covered pretzels?” Tony held the bag out as a peace offering to Darcy as he entered his lab. 

She was sitting on his work table fiddling with some small tools that had been left out, but otherwise being careful to not touch any of his stuff. Here was one of the few people in the building unlikely to screw something up in the shop instantly and still being polite enough not to play around with his toys. 

“Thanks.” she grabbed a healthy sized handful and popped one into her mouth. She mumbled a ‘their good’ through a full mouth as she ate a few more. 

“Anytime, Lewis.” 

He moved to the side and pushed himself up on the work table beside Darcy. Tony dropped the bag of pretzels in between them and leaned back on his hands. 

“I just, um, well figured that you might want those equations from last night.” She kicked over the roll of carpet that had been propped up next to her feet. It unrolled to show the sharpie equations Tony had scribbled on it earlier that morning. 

“You know I have people for that.”

“For what?”

“You’ll have new carpet outside your door by tomorrow.”

“It’s your building, Stark.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw her shrug her shoulders. After a second or two she moved closer to the edge of the table. 

Tony sighed as she was about to jump down and the noise caught her attention. She glanced over at him. 

“You doing anything right now? You’re welcome to stay. Or does Foster need you back sometime today?” 

“What are you working on that had you one your hands and knees last night?” Darcy asked her escape off the work table momentarily delayed in favor of shop talk. 

“The newest adjustments to the Mark suit. Hopefully I’ll have a prototype of the main pieces in a few hours. Of course, since I’m going to be adjusting things for a while the safe guards won’t be in place.” he smirked.

“You jackass. Are you bribing me with the possibility of testing part of your newest suit?” 

“Well if that was what I was doing would it work?” 

“What do you normally bribe women with?”

That startled a laugh out of Tony and Darcy had trouble keeping a small grin off her face at the sound. 

“Money, more money, and things that take a lot of money. JARVIS would be happy to see you stay. I don’t think he trusts me in this shop over periods of time that last longer than an hour or two.”

“I can’t imagine why.”

“So you’ll stay then.” 

“For JARVIS’s sake I think I can stick around for a few hours. Is there anything useful for me to do around here that DUM-E can’t do?”

Tony mock pouted “You don’t want to lounge around and admire me as I work? DUM-E tries but he just doesn’t have the wistful sighing over my awesomeness down yet. 

Only Natasha or Agent could have taught her how to raise an eyebrow that clearly said ‘you have got to be kidding me.’ Huh, she must have left the Taser upstairs in her room.


End file.
